In the last few weeks, my girls have been busy digging holes, watering new flowers, and checking up on the wee sprouts in our garden. They've spent balmy afternoons searching for wild flowers, following baby lizards through the grass to their little hiding spots. It seems they never tire of learning about their surroundings or digging their fingers in the soil of newly dug flower beds. It's a joy for life that wakes up with them each morning.
God has used my children's curious natures to minister to my spirit. Where my own joy was beginning to diminish, I found that my children were stepping into the void. I admit that I wasn't always thankful for this, because I guess I wanted to "enjoy" my self-pity for a while. Thankfully the Lord, with a loving and sometimes stern hand, has started lifting from the pit of pity. Each day, in some way, He shows me new things about this life or connects me to other people who have walked this same dismal road and were rescued by His loving care.
So why do I write all this (realize that you've only received an excerpt)? I'm learning that for all my struggles, there has been someone or something that has stepped in that gap for me. And now I am seeing a new purpose to my life: to step in the gap for others who struggle or have a multitude of unanswered questions.
Along with this vision, I've had renewed vision for nurturing my children and my husband. Granted, it's not all clear to me yet. I see the Lord as working a fresh painting of my life. As with all paintings, you can't just glance at it. For by glancing you miss so many small yet wonderful parts that make up the whole. So at the moment, I'm just beginning to see the small details. My hope is that, in the future, I might be able to take steps back and view the picture in increasing fullness, with the knowledge that on that great day in glory, I will behold my painting in entirety and be captivated by it's Artist.
